If someone hadn’t told me what an “oral dam” was, I would have guessed it was some form of orthodontic corrective device. I feel old when the sex education education officers from Planning Familial, explain it is a latex sheet as a prophylactic during oral sex.
This was not something covered in the painfully long, but probably not long enough, sex education classes of the 1980s. Possibly because it didn’t exist--sex education has come a long way since then. Today, Planning Familial's team of three, full-time education officers cram in a comprehensive curriculum in the schools, youth clubs and after-school clubs that invite them to host interactive sessions. Yet, it is never enough.
“In an ideal world we need a team of 30 people,” says Emilie Kaiser, Luxembourg’s family planning administrative director. This would ensure that every child at secondary school could receive a basis in emotional and sex education. One barrier is finance--Kaiser says there is a strong political will to educate as seen in the introduction of sex education as part of the compulsory “vie et société” (life and society) classes, which replaced religion and are taught by teachers within the school. But, investing in preventive work is difficult, because “you never see the long-term effects.”
The sessions led by Planning Familial’s education officers are also not compulsory so there are schools in Luxembourg they’ve never been invited to. In the best cases, the team cover territory already treated by a welfare officer in the school. In the worst scenario, students end up with little or no understanding of how their sexual organs work or will have informed themselves through other media like pornography.
“During one brainstorming session, they gave us the names of websites and porn stars. It doesn’t mean all the pupils at colleges consume porn at 12. But a large part of the schools know the websites,” education officer Miguel Dias says.
Then there is the matter of consent. A 2016 special Eurobarometer survey conducted in Luxembourg found that 4 out of 10 respondents considered non-consensual sex to be acceptable under certain circumstances, suggesting this is an area that needs urgent discussion.
Two education tools showing sexual organs used by the Planning Familial ESA education officers. Photo: Planning Familial
Too little, too late
For Kaiser, addressing these questions for the first time at 15, if they do at all, is too late--far better to begin a dialogue at primary. But the education officers have not been into primary schools for the past three years since the education ministry ruled that, for security reasons, they could not work without the presence of teachers.
“For us, it’s above all the last class in primary where it would be good to work without the teacher because they are starting puberty and have lots of questions that a child of 8 wouldn’t have,” explains Sandra Michely, another education officer. This non-judgmental environment with an external professional, she says, is critical for their work to be effective. Starting September 2020, the team will, however, return to primary schools and work in collaboration with teachers on a curriculum that is age appropriate.
It is a positive if small step but Kaiser laments that even if her budget were to increase, there are too few people trained in this field to be able to expand the team immediately. The reason, she says there’s a misplaced fear that sex education will serve to stimulate young minds. “It’s the opposite. The more we speak, the more they ask the right questions.”
It’s at this age that young people learn gender stereotypes, and where prejudices become embedded. Ensuring people who work with young people have a comprehensive sex education is therefore also critical.
Writer Anouk Schreiner wrote a short story inspired by a casual homophobic incident in the classroom. Photo: Anouk Schreiner
Homophobia
Teaching the teachers is something that Anouk Schreiner, a young writer in Luxembourg, strongly advocates. She recently published a short story, “It takes courage”, inspired by events that happened in a Luxembourg school 3 years ago. The story recalls the moment a teacher used a homophobic slur in the classroom, and the anger and confusion the homosexual protagonist feels. For Schreiner it shows there a generational education gap. “The teacher in my story just didn’t know any better because this is how he was raised […] Perhaps they could offer lifelong learning about discrimination in school”.
These kinds of “micro-aggressions” “occur in the daily life of a stigmatised group and have a negative impact on the health and wellbeing of a person,” says Enrica Pianaro, of the LGBTQ+ support group Cigale. While expanding the target group of training is important Pianaro says sex education and gender diversity should be embedded across subjects. “We ask for compulsory education in sexual and gender diversity. This has to happen on every level: the initial teacher’s training, in continuing education, the revision of all school programmes (not only sex education or ViSo, but also literature, mathematics […].”
The Méi Wéi Sex podcast, whose logo is pictured above, is a state-funded initiative to break the stigma surrounding certain elements of sex in Luxembourg
Adult sex education
Planning Familial is now turning its attention to adults and parents in a pilot project at the end of 2020. It will be a huge task, given the resource limitations but, they are not alone. The state-funded sex education podcast, Méi Wéi Sex (More than sex) is helping to fill in some of the gaps for over 18s. “We’re four people in the team discussing the topics we’re interested in and what we feel is missing. The list is endless,” says, Kelly Kosel, a sex educator working in Germany and podcast co-creator.
They make a point of inviting experts to share their experiences, “for instance on the topic of asexuality, we would invite someone asexual to talk about that”. The initial feedback has been positive. During lockdown, she heard how one teacher even asked his students to listen to the podcast as homework. Unlike targeted sessions in schools and youth clubs, the self-emancipatory approach and accessible nature of podcasts means that people can and do listen to them anytime. “I think it can be just as interesting to listen to if you’re 45 and have been married 20 years as if you’ve never had sex before,” Kosel says.